Have you ever seen that movie (or read the book) The Perfect Storm? Three hurricanes and
tropical storms collide and a helpless fishing boat is caught in the
middle. June was like the exact opposite
of that for me. My storm was a mix of
weddings, birthdays, and anniversaries which formed a month-long super
celebration. The only downside was that
I don’t like to drink a lot, but I found myself partying hard every
weekend. Woe is me :P The heavy hitters were the weddings on
back-to-back weekends. 2 bachelor
parties, 2 weddings, 2 receptions, 2 after parties, and 2 much booze.
First up was Miguel’s bachelor party. The theme of the party was Shirts vs
Skins. The precursor was a 1-rep max
weight lifting session, and the main event was a poker tournament. As players were eliminated, they had to give
their shirts up to the person that knocked them out. It started innocently enough, but with a
little help from Fireball it quickly devolved into a bunch of drunken naked savages
twerking and doing yardwork. Eventually
dudes started wrasselin and climbing around on the roof. As things settled down we spewed our liquor
onto Miguel’s neighbor’s yard and went home. I’m pretty happy with all the Canadian cousins I made that
day. *
Next was my wife’s birthday.
We kept this one low key because of all the other events going on. In fact, she was hosting a bachelorette party
for Shaniqua that same night! I got her
a mini-fridge as a present. It wasn’t
the most romantic gift, but it was practical.
I guess that’s marriage in a nutshell.
She’s not a diva at all, so she’s not upset that her b-day was
overshadowed. Still, I think she
deserves the best so I’ll have to find a way to make it up to her.
The next day was Tyrese’s bachelor party. This one was pretty last-minute, but it came
together just fine. It was day one of a
three day bonanza. We had some beers, and
played mini-golf and Cards Against Humanity.
If you think that game is already racy, try it out at a bachelor party. It was an appropriately fun night. My Canadian family got pretty intertwined at
this one, which I wouldn’t be surprised to find out is some kind of Canadian
tradition.
The rest of the weekend was at Tyrese and Shaniqua’s
wedding. It was a couple hours out of
town, so we wound up renting some houses onsite for a group of about 20. Between the rehearsal dinner and the wedding
reception there was lots of good food, classy fun, and small talk. Both nights back at the house were pretty
wild. With bros icing bros and more
fireball it felt like living with my college roommates again. Shout out to my new Polynesian cousins
for the successful weekend bash.*
The Wednesday after the wedding was Pierre’s 30th
birthday. It was also my grandfather’s
86th birthday (He had a heart attack in his 60s, and was told he’d
be lucky to live another 10 years. So,
to me, every birthday for him is a big deal) and my two year anniversary at
Amazon. Again, due to the timing this
one was hard to celebrate. At least,
that’s what we told Pierre… more on that later.
A couple days later was Miguel and Guadalupe’s wedding. It was magical. Everyone was looking G’d up from the feet
up. The ceremony was beautiful and
emotional. We wound up getting pretty
smashed on wine at the reception and the after party. I’m not sure what hit me so hard – maybe it
was the alcohol mixing with my allergy meds or just the fact that I had two
glasses of six different wines, but I was a unique kind of intoxicated that
night. I spent about an hour lobotomized
in a lawn chair while some of the other fellas spewed into the neighbor’s yard
again (this time it was Tyrese’s neighbor).
This wasn’t anyone’s proudest moment, but Miguel and Guadalupe deserved
it.
Now, back to Pierre.
He’s one of my best buds. A lot
of other people would claim that he’s one of their best buds as well. He’s a good guy. And 30 is a big milestone. We weren’t going to let him fly under the
radar on this one – regardless of being sandwiched between two weddings. Penelope planned a Pokémon-themed surprise
party for him months in advance. The
weekend after the weddings worked out best, since that’s when his brother Jacque
was in town. It was a blast. Team Rocket was there, Pikachu, Charizard, Dragonite,
and others were all in the house. We had
8 “gym leaders” that Pierre could challenge for badges throughout the day. He had to best them in feats of athleticism,
wit, and drinking. By the end of the
night Pierre was the Pokémon league champion.
It wasn’t easy, but we all had a blast making him earn every badge.
So, that’s June 2015 for me.
So, that’s June 2015 for me.
When it was all said and done, I partook in some amazing festivities, felt some deep emotions, and made
some great memories. I’m #blessed to
have so many people in my life who are worth celebrating, and so full of energy. I’m also exhausted, and ready to get back in
my routine :)
TGIB
*Canadian cousins is a term like “Eskimo brothers.” It means you attended the same bachelor
party. Polynesian cousins is a similar
term. It means you had the same wedding
officiant.
**fake names used to protect the innocent.
