"Homie I got a feeling I could be one of the illest
Lord willing my villains won’t come out for no appearance
all of us will make a killing, work harder and make a million, and call it making a living
but what about making a difference?
what about breaking these ceilings?
what about pushing these limits?
the struggle making me sick and the devil taking these victims
all this is making me livid, the policy and the system, the falsity of the prisms
so all of us gotta get it"
-G Yamazawa One Crown
(If you're still sleeping on G Yamazawa in 2018 then lay off the snooze)
I'm starting a new job at Clean Power Research, just a few miles from home in Kirkland. I'll be developing software to model renewable energy systems for utility companies. I'm thrilled to pivot my career into an industry that I'm passionate about. Years from now, when Earth's ecosystems have bent but not broken, hopefully I'll be able to say I contributed to the transition away from fossil fuels AND got jacked legs from biking to work every day.
I had considered leaving Amazon for a while, but once I had an offer in hand I realized pulling the trigger would be harder than I expected. I spent nearly five years there during a period of incredible growth - both for myself and the company. I formed relationships with some exceptional people, and became a trusted owner of several domains. The company grew like a weed during that time - the stock value increased 500% since I began in 2013, and hundreds of thousands of new employees have since joined the company. My future at Amazon was brighter than ever. The idea of leaving seemed irrational, and irrational decisions don't come easily to engineers whose minds often work more like robots than humans. Beep boop.
The problems I worked on at Amazon were stimulating, but I was never intrinsically interested in their applications. I would be unsatisfied spending the rest of my career developing consumer technology. It wasn't easy to uproot myself after years of digging in, but I had to get busy living or get busy dying. Shoutout to Morgan Freeman. The developmental years of many people's careers might feel like the corporate version of Shawshank; brutal, degrading, and unfruitful. I'm really fortunate that my time at Amazon was the exact opposite. I wish only the best things for the people I met there and the company as a whole. After all, I am still a shareholder...
The conflict in Shawshank doesn't end when the prisoners are released. The guys that were in for most of their lives are overwhelmed by the newfound freedom. They're so uncomfortable being outside that they dream of ways to get back in. In Brooks' case, the realization that he would never reintegrate into society meant that life was no longer worth living. I'm not trying to compare Amazon to prison. I'm just saying that even though Amazon isn't the best fit for me, it's still scary to leave because I might discover that this "dream job" actually sucks. What do I do with myself then? I'm not alone in feeling that way. A lot of people are content to let their dreams be dreams, even to the point of self-sabotage. They would rather keep their goals forever out of reach, like a carrot on a stick, because they get to hold on to hope that someday everything will work itself out. If you get a chance to reach the carrot, only to realize that it's plastic, then you can't restore the illusion that kept you going.
 |
| Four years is long enough to become a dinosaur at Amazon |
The problems I worked on at Amazon were stimulating, but I was never intrinsically interested in their applications. I would be unsatisfied spending the rest of my career developing consumer technology. It wasn't easy to uproot myself after years of digging in, but I had to get busy living or get busy dying. Shoutout to Morgan Freeman. The developmental years of many people's careers might feel like the corporate version of Shawshank; brutal, degrading, and unfruitful. I'm really fortunate that my time at Amazon was the exact opposite. I wish only the best things for the people I met there and the company as a whole. After all, I am still a shareholder...
The conflict in Shawshank doesn't end when the prisoners are released. The guys that were in for most of their lives are overwhelmed by the newfound freedom. They're so uncomfortable being outside that they dream of ways to get back in. In Brooks' case, the realization that he would never reintegrate into society meant that life was no longer worth living. I'm not trying to compare Amazon to prison. I'm just saying that even though Amazon isn't the best fit for me, it's still scary to leave because I might discover that this "dream job" actually sucks. What do I do with myself then? I'm not alone in feeling that way. A lot of people are content to let their dreams be dreams, even to the point of self-sabotage. They would rather keep their goals forever out of reach, like a carrot on a stick, because they get to hold on to hope that someday everything will work itself out. If you get a chance to reach the carrot, only to realize that it's plastic, then you can't restore the illusion that kept you going.
 |
| you need to play Portal at least once! |
I'm risk-averse, so you might think it's uncharacteristic of me to jump ship from a safe situation at Amazon for a big unknown. I felt that way too, but I'm only 28 years old, and I decided that the bigger risk would be to miss a potential turning point in my life. In the wise words of Michael Scott...
Leaving Amazon was a difficult decision, but I'm committed to my choice. No ragrets. I'm stoked to leverage the versatility of my computer science degree, and I couldn't have asked for a more relevant problem to work on. Humanity's impact on the environment is real, and we're doomed if we don't take it seriously. My new job won't be the second coming of Captain Planet, but I'm approaching it with an eagerness to make whatever impact is possible. It's just like the saying;
"No one can do everything, but everyone can do something. -Unknown"
-Michael Scott
 |
| props to all the "heart" people out there |
Reduce, Reuse, Recycle!
TGIB
P.S. I timed my exit from Amazon to overlap with the opening of the spheres. I spent a couple hours strolling through in my last week. That place is amazing! It's ironic that I would spend years at Amazon and then leave as soon as it opened, but at least I got to enjoy myself for one afternoon.
